Let’s do it proper here. A proper look at, that is, about speed bumps.
What those old asphalt humps that spill your morning latte, and test your shocks?
Yes, those.
There’s one on every block, it seems. But just because something’s ubiquitous doesn’t mean it’s the gold standard. After a long career in road safety consulting, I can state with confidence that there’s a lot more out there than medieval remedies for the speeding car. Why? Because that’s not how you manage traffic speeds anymore.
There’s a whole new world of modern, better, and certainly less ugly ways to do it.
The Old School Speed Bumps
Scenario: you’re driving along and, without any warning, you’re suddenly performing an impromptu brake test. Welcome to the world of the speed bump. Yes, they slow cars down but, more than that, at what cost? For one thing, they’re a nightmare for emergency services. Ever seen an ambulance go over a speed bump at speed? Me neither; it doesn’t bear thinking about. There’s also the damage they cause vehicles and the sheer frustration they cause drivers. And from an environmental perspective, more braking and accelerating means more emissions. In an age when, presumably, we’re meant to be cutting back on carbon footprints, the speed bump feels like a retrograde step.
The New Kids on the Block: Modern Traffic Calming Techniques
So say hello to the future: traffic calming that makes speed bumps look like blunt instruments, such as smart speed tables and embedded road sensors, as well as psychological traffic calming that changes driving habits without the drivers even noticing.
Consider the smart speed table, which is the sophisticated, driver-friendly cousin of the speed bump. Usually attractive in design and often paired with emergency vehicle passages, they’re effective but not a jarring pothole to your spine. Speed calming that doesn’t spill your coffee every morning!
Cobbled Speed Bumps: Merging Tradition with Innovation
While we are conjuring up modern-day alternatives, let us not forget the aesthetic and functional beauty of cobbled speed bumps. Yes, you read it correctly – cobbled. Not asphalt lumps, but made of everlasting and environmentally-friendly materials that create a beautiful, old-world feel while still serving as effective speed humps.
These cobbled beauties are a good choice where it’s as important to preserve the historical or visual character as it is to calm traffic. They fit in with historical cobblestone streets or add an elegant touch to new areas with a visual flair. The extra grip on cobbled speed bumps is a clear win for safety and style, as the textured surface remains good in all weather.
Then there are embedded road sensors – the stuff of sci‑fi and other such nonsense – that track traffic density and adjust themselves on the fly to optimise the driving experience. If kids are on their way to school, the speed limit can be dropped on the fly. If it’s a clear night and no one’s on the road, the limit can be pushed high – and all that information can be fed to drivers in real-time by way of digital signage.
Why Change is Crucial
So why am I banging on about ‘upgrading’? As a road safety consultant, I see the consequences of old-fashioned measures every day. It’s not just about reducing speeds; it’s about making our roads safer and more pleasant for everyone. New traffic calming techniques offer a toolbox of solutions that can be tailored to individual streets, neighbourhoods and conditions. They recognise that drivers are intelligent, sensible human beings, not schoolkids who need to be told twice.
Courtside, councils and other local government authorities ought to be following the mantra of the tech industry and innovating. We need traffic calming measures with as much brains as the phones we carry in our pockets, making our streets safer as well as our daily drives more pleasant.
So let me get this straight. We need to talk about traffic calming. I’ve been in the road safety business long enough to know that there is good and bad traffic calming. And if there is one piece of ‘wisdom’ that I have found on every other street, it is the ubiquity of speed humps. Those asphalt annoyances knocking around on every other street. Let’s talk about what I think might be a retrograde step and what else we could be doing instead.
The Trouble with Speed Bumps
For starters, speed humps are a sledgehammer approach to a problem that requires a scalpel. They make everyone drive slower, sure, but at what cost? They interrupt the flow of traffic. They bounce your spine every time you drive over them. And don’t get me started on the damage they do to cars. For emergency services, speed humps are a nightmare. An ambulance or fire engine has to slow to a near halt to drive over them, and in an emergency those seconds might make the difference between life and death.
But then again, speed bumps are more than physical roadblocks; they’re mental ones, too, sources of frustration that also induce aggressive driving between humps, and, oh yes, they look like hell. Drop them into residential areas or God forbid, historic districts, and it’s like tossing a plastic garden chair in the middle of a stately ballroom.
A Fresh Perspective on Traffic Calming
I don’t want to moan without offering an alternative, and it’s encouraging to see that some smarter solutions are being used that manage to tick all speed bumps’ boxes. Chicanes and road narrowing slow traffic down in a more natural way, not the confusing and jolting experience of riding over a speed bump. The journey is more fluid for the driver and the flow of traffic is much smoother.
Then there is the psychological approach — remember the concept of shared spaces? That’s where the road lines are minimal, and pedestrians, bikes and cars all share the space equally. Sounds mental, but it works. It encourages everyone to think more and be more considerate, reducing speeds without a single bump in sight.
The Case for Aesthetic and Effective Solutions
And, aesthetics aside – because who actually wants their streets to be ugly? – modern traffic-calming devices such as textured pavements and low-profile speed cushions are a far more pleasing way of slowing traffic than high bumps. They can also be used in ways that can enhance the layout of the road, rather than spoiling it.
Think about causing the planting of trees along the street, or parklets. Not only do these make the neighbourhood look nicer, but they also naturally calm traffic. Drivers slow down in visually more complex environments, so why not make our streets nicer and safer at the same time?
If We Must Use Speed Bumps, Let’s Make Them Cobblestone!
If we can’t get rid of speed bumps, let’s at least make them worthy of delayed gratification. Cobblestone speed bumps – now there’s an aesthetic solution that harmonises function and form in a way that asphalt lumps never could. And so a digression, on why switching to cobblestone can transform a necessary evil into less of an evil, and even quite a bit charming.
Blending Tradition with Safety
Cobblestone has an antique feel that asphalt can never hope to replicate. In historic districts or where aesthetic integrity is paramount, cobblestone speed bumps easily blend into the landscape and provide not only a safety function but an environmental enhancement — something that contributes to the visual appeal rather than detracts from it. Think of the driver approaching a cobblestone speed bump in a picturesque village or historic district where the speed bumps look like they’ve been there for a long time, perfectly integrated into the cobblestone streets.
Durability and Practicality
Nor is it just about the aesthetic: cobblestone is remarkably tough. These are not pothole-prone, easily broken asphalt humps that crack at the first frozen frost. Cobblestones can withstand all sorts of weather and traffic, making them a practical choice for long-term use. Their irregular texture also slows speeds naturally: drivers naturally slow down to avoid the jolting feeling – no need for the bump to be as high as its asphalt brethren.
Eco-Friendly and Sustainable
Let’s start with sustainability. Cobblestones can often be locally obtained, minimising the ecological footprint of transportation. And when cobblestones are replaced or repaired, they can be reused or recycled, unlike asphalt, which is often sent to the landfill. In choosing cobblestone, a community improves its carbon footprint, making local traffic-calming efforts consistent with larger environmental goals.
Community and Heritage Value
Cobblestone speed humps can also work well in places that already have a heritage look and feel, or where planning teams want to make a community-minded statement. They can become landmarks, hubs of pride. Here is a municipal government that cares about its history and wants to be seen to care about the health and safety of its streets. Here is a government that actually thinks through the design details of traffic management.
In Conclusion, if we’re going to do speed bumps, we might as well do them right. We need to replace the dark grey of asphalt with something drivers can love – even if they don’t love going slowly. Cobblestone speed bumps represent a stylish way to show respect for the aesthetic of our streets and their lifespan. It’s a small change with a potentially big impact in how we interact with our local environment.
And let us not be satisfied with the easy fix. Let’s insist on safe, sane, and – why not – even pretty streets.
Isn’t that the kind of road we’d like to return to?
